Sometimes, things that I come across swirl around my brain, and I feel compelled to write about them. They make for strange combinations at times, so be warned—this might come across as an odd post.
Let me explain: Yesterday, I reblogged a post about PornHub planting a tree for every 100 videos viewed in their “Big Dick” category. Wood for big wood, I guess you could say.
This reminded me of something I saw in my researching stuff about the Robin Hood legend, for posts to promote my erotic short story, Maid Marian’s Missions. I know, I know: it’s shameless self-promotion. I’m guilty, guilty, guilty.
Anyhoo, the PornHub tree-planting promotion reminded me of seeing photos of the Major Oak tree in Sherwood Forest:
This pic was taken by Breixo Marino, who digitally removed the support poles (pic from eyemead.com). Supposedly, Robin Hood hid in the hollow of this enormous tree so as not to be captured by his enemies.
Just how big is this baby? From Eyemead.com: “This giant tree, with a waistline of 35 ft, a height of 52 feet and weighing an estimated 23 tons, has been here for about 800–1000 years… Its large canopy, the leaves and branches, with a spread of 92 ft points to it being a tree that has grown up with little or no competition from oaks nearby.”
We can hope that some of the trees that Pornhub plants will reach this size.
Connecting to these were two posts recently published on The Undie Drawer’s blog.
The first post is Size DOES Matter, But Not In The Way You Think, and it reported on a study in Kenya that found men with larger penises were more likely to be cheated on by their wives. Talk about a new wrinkle in the ages-old debate over whether size matters! It adds a complication to the simplistic thought that the debate potentially raises: just dick size leads to a woman’s pleasure. Of course, there’s the saying, “It’s not the size of the boat; it’s the motion of the ocean.” This study suggests that having a big schlong doesn’t automatically mean your lady’s satisfied. Physically or emotionally.
The other post on The Undie Drawer is Average Length of Sexual Intercourse for Men: 2 Minutes?!?! Here’s another size matter, this time with duration of penetration. Two minutes isn’t a ton of time for either partner to enjoy the pleasures of dancing ‘tween the sheets. I’m not going to pretend to know the why behind this average time, but it sounds like a call to slow it down, enjoy the view, smell the roses, take your time with that lovely lady.
Maybe try out some Tantric sex. This article says “Tantric sexual practices teach us to prolong the act of making love and to utilize potent orgasmic energies more effectively.” Sounds pretty sweet to me.
I also hit up YouTube for videos about the Size Matters question, since the site has videos for everything. It didn’t disappoint, and here’s Dating Coach Laurel House with “The Penis… [cue 2001‘s intro music!] Does Size (or Shape) Matter?”
And then housewifeswag says “the size of your penis is a lot less important than how well you fit with your partner.” Which reminds me of that Kenyan study … compatibility is very important.
Finally, I have to add AmazingLife247’s video “Does Size Matter?” which shows 3 funny commercials playing with the size debate.
To wrap all this up, I’d say size does matter. It matters in paychecks. Money might be the root of all evil, but it’s necessary to pay the bills. Size also matters with that rock rolling down the mountain toward you, if it’s a pebble or a boulder. And size matters with the size of your lawn. If it’s small, then you won’t spend a lot of time in the hot sun mowing that sucker. But if it’s huge, then you’ll be out there a long time sweating your butt off.
And then you might ask yourself: why have grass on the lawn at all? It’d be easier to plant a whole bunch of trees and turn that baby into a forest.