My first novel is out!
Before I get into a description of the novel, I want to first mention that I’m going to give away 5 copies of its ebook file — for the low, low price of FREE.
And who doesn’t like FREE??
If you’re interested, simply send me an email to email@example.com. You have until the end of the month: Tuesday, September 30. When you email me, please tell me the name that, if you do win, you’d like me to include on the post when I list the winners on October 1. You know, if you don’t want me to include your full name, you can shorten it (like R. Tigglesworth) or go with a nickname (like Mr. Cool). I’ll pick the winners by random. Seems like a fair way to go, right? At the end of September 30, I’ll take all the names of people who emailed me, and I’ll put them in a hat and pick out 5 names. Then I’ll email those 5 wildly lucky folks a coupon code so they can download the ebook from Smashwords for free.
Only send me an email if you are 18 years or older — since this is an erotic novel.
And don’t worry, I’m not going to add your email to a distribution list or anything like that. I don’t have a distribution list!
Now let’s get into the description of the book… here’s the blurb:
Simon Edwards has an unusual fetish. Some guys are excited by French Maids or sexy nurses, but these do nothing for Simon. He has a fetish for dirndls — the traditional dress worn by women in Bavaria, such as during Oktoberfest, and it’s the counterpart to men in lederhosen.
How did Simon’s fetish start? His first sexual experience was with a German woman who fit the blonde and busty stereotype. This experience was fused together with his love of Bavarian Beauty hot chocolate (a fictional brand), and his fetish was born.
Since Simon is only turned on by this specific dress, he endures many disappointing dates with non-dirndl wearing women as he seeks someone he clicks with. These disappointments lead him to fly to Munich during Oktoberfest to immerse himself in dirndl heaven.
But things don’t exactly go according to plan.
Simon finds out that he’s not the only one with a fetish. And he must ask himself how far he’s willing to go to deliver on someone else’s fantasy. This story is about people with desires that differ from what is considered mainstream, and their search to find someone they feel comfortable with to share those desires.
This novel (106,750 words) is mostly comprised of Simon’s entries in his journal, and a few other sections are transcripts from Simon’s sessions with his therapist to work on his fetish.
This is a work of erotic fiction and is meant for mature readers only. It contains explicit descriptions of sex (including threesomes and light BDSM), a lot of hot chocolate, Bavarian food, beer drinking, gorgeous scenery of mountains, a few leather outfits, and a creepy mannequin.
A little bit more about Simon: he’s single, in his mid-20s, lives in Philadelphia, grew up in Albany (NY), and works in information technology. The dating scene has been rough on him due to his very specific fetish. Because he is used to women thinking he’s crazy for having a dirndl fetish, he becomes very excited when life becomes better for him. Parts of his journal articles don’t exactly read like they’re from a calm, cool, collected guy. I liked his enthusiasm, his quick excitability when his love live improved — and when he was faced with things he didn’t plan for.
The other main character is Gretchen, and I don’t want to describe her in too much detail, for the worry of giving away too much. Here’s a little bit about her: she’s a waitress, she loves family, she’s strong as hell, and she’s got a dream to be a fashion designer.
Now for an excerpt, and this comes at the beginning. It’s part of a transcript between the main character, Simon Edwards (SE), and his therapist Dr. Karl Shafer (KS). The excerpt starts off with Simon speaking:
Okay, let’s move on. Back to Playground Europe. I figured that I’ve tried many restaurants, so this place was next. So I drove down there. Have you ever been there?
KS: No, I haven’t.
SE: It’s in South Carolina. It’s one of those amusement parks where you’ve got parts for different countries. Germany, England, France, Italy, um, let’s see, and Greece and Spain. Maybe others. I can’t remember exactly. Anyway, they’ve got pubs and those red phone booths in the England part. And a fake Eiffel Tower in the France part. All that kind of stuff. You don’t have to fly all the way over to Europe, and you can see it all in one day.
It’s all fake, sure, but you get the gist of it. I first went on a couple of rollercoasters to loosen me up. I didn’t want to rush right to it. I was so worked up at the entrance, that I needed to calm down some. The rollercoasters did the trick.
I figured lunch would be a good time to go. They’ve got this restaurant made up like it’s Oktoberfest all the time. Hey, Oktoberfest in July. Crazy, right? But you can get the experience without waiting for the actual Oktoberfest.
And there she was. Not perfect like I’ve seen on some websites, but she was good. Damn good. It took lots of control not to approach her right away. I didn’t want to come off as desperate, you know? I’ve screwed up like that before.
She had brunette hair and smaller breasts than the women on those websites that show you the ideal. But who cares? It’d be crazy to hold out for the ideal. If I did that, I’d have even more trouble than I already do.
KS: You’d be narrowing your field even more than it is now.
SE: Yeah, tell me about it. That’d be seriously dumb.
So I ate my Bratwurst and potatoes and watched her. But I didn’t stare. I was careful about not staring at her. She was really busy, rushing around bringing people their food. She was good. She kept her calm while all us tourists ordered our lunch. It was fun to watch her work. The real thing is so much better than websites and movies.
I made up Playground Europe — there’s no amusement park by that name in South Carolina (at least not by a Google search).
Interested in reading the rest of the novel? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to try your luck in the giveaway for 5 ebooks. Or, if you simply can’t wait, you can purchase the ebook at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords (you have to click “Adult Content” in the top blue bar, all the way to the right to view these kinds of books).
Finally, the fine print:
Any resemblance between the characters in this novel with persons living or dead is purely coincidental. The two cover images are stock photography, and the models are used for illustrative purposes only — inclusion on the cover is not meant to imply the models’ involvement in the activities described in this story. All characters in the story are older than 18 years old and participate in consensual sex. The events described in the story should not be taken as medical advice for the treatment of a fetish. The mention of companies and products in the story should not be taken as their support of the events in the story.